What do you do with a school full of kids who think multiplication is just the reason they have so many brothers and sisters? Well if your Dame Jamie Oliver (OBE MBE KFC) you get an Oxbridge Classics teacher to teach them Latin. Obvious isn’t it?
Jamie’s Dream School is Channel 4’s latest Jamie Oliver vehicle. Only this time, instead of trying to force feed fat kids cabbage, he is ramming facts and figures down the throats of urchins.
Jamie is not alone in his mission. The Headmaster of the Dream School is named John D’Abbro, however in typical Oliver mockney style he is referred to as Dabbs. Dabbs gives the impression of a man who strives constantly to prove how down-with-the-kids he is. He refers to how he was kicked out of multiple schools before seeing the light and becoming head boy at his final school. His awkward overly laid back style of management would have David Brent cringing.
Star teacher of the week must go to former poet laureate and world’s quietest voice record holder, Andrew Motion. Motion, or Motty as Oliver would have him called, came up with an ingenious idea to keep order in his classroom. He gave the class a simple choice, if they were interested in poetry they could attend his class and if they didn’t like poetry they could fuck off. His novel approach seemed to work and for the first time in the history of the programme I had a shocking revelation, some of the kids attending the Dream School are actually human. If he ever gets sick of writing haikus he could always become Education Secretary.
Education, Education, Education. (Unless your not interested)
Joe On Telly 